Cooking Up Trouble

As you can see from the photo above,
Sam likes to imitate everything Mommy does.
Good or bad.

Imagine this scene. It is 6:45am, and I sit on the bathroom floor. We need to leave the house before 7am in order to beat the school bus convoy that enters highway 35 at 7:08am. Missing our 7am deadline will result in an extra 15 minutes added to our commute not to mention the increase in Mommy's blood pressure every single time we stop and wait for some farmer's kid to walk up the steps of the school bus as slowly as he possibly can.

I have been sitting on the bathroom floor for 2 minutes. Sam has wedged himself between the bathtub and the toilet, just out of my reach. I have been asking him kindly to come sit so I may change his diaper. I have told him that as soon as we change his diaper we can have a snack. I have told him that Jamie is waiting for him so we need to get ready. I have tried to interest him in the drawer full of interesting goodies like nail clippers and dental floss that are in the cabinet next to me. He has seen all these tricks before and is not interested... until I take out a purple plastic tampon applicator and convince him that it's a rocket.

He creeps over and lays quietly on the bathroom rug in front of me, and he is distracted while I unzip his new red striped jammies from TT and change his diaper. He says uh-oh when he drops his new toy while I push Baby Gap toddler socks onto his feet. He doesn't even notice as I feed his legs into blue warm-up pants and pull him to a standing position. But when I try to feed his hands through the sleeves of his flannel shirt, he will have none of this. How can he look at his new toy if it and his hands have to pass momentarily through the sleeves?

"Work with me here, God damnit!" I say as I push his hands through the shirt and his new toy once again comes into sight.

"God damnit," he says.

[sigh]

Time to change. Again.