'Twas

'Twas the week before Christmas and all through our house...

 Five!

 What a bedtime snack looks like on your 5th birthday

 Gingerbread House decorating at school

 Lots of decorations didn't make it on to the gingerbread house

 The artist at work - Sam's house is a happy one.

 I do it!!!!

 Riiiiight there, Mommy.

 Yes, there is a cookie under all those sprinkles.

And yes, Sam once again manages to get more decorations in his mouth than on his cookie.

 Another artist at work

 Eva helps with present rearrangement after finally conceding in her efforts to open Auntie Ann's gift.

 Bedtime stories

 

 

Five!

 What a five-year-old can do that a 4-year-old can't. 

Saturday with my brain on overload with holiday and birthday lists and my heart reeling from the Connecticut tragedy, it was sometimes almost too painful to slow down and notice the details of Sam's party. Every child so unique and special... the way Gedion hit the baseball bats or Owen and Max fought in the gladiator ring or Nathan handled the bull riding machine or Luke empathetically handed over his bat to Hamilton with his scowl.  The way Gavin tore down the slide again and again insisting that his mother toss the giant balloon into his face.  The way Espn and Zayda and Owen made a hilarious game of trying to hide from my camera in the darkest bouncy house.  The way Sam and Nathan ran around and around and around the slides.  The way Anthony shyly crawled up the steps before throwing himself down the pirate slide.  The way Sam and Owen followed Max and stood in awe as he was the first person to attempt riding the bull.  The way they all lined up to go to the bathroom and then to the party room.  The way Jamie and Kate and Amy and all my mommy friends make my life possible.  The way we were all separately dealing with our grief, with the gratitude that these children were still ours, still with us.

When Sam and I arrived back home (just the two of us because Eva was still in the care of Wonder Woman) I finally let myself breathe and feel the enormity of Friday.  Sam and I sat on the living room floor and built hex bug mazes and chased balloon rockets across the room and created crazy colorful monsters out of cardboard and made Jar Jar Binks and C3PO talk to each other.  And as we opened and played with each new toy I thought about all these mothers and how they had each taken the time to get these gifts that were so perfect for my son.  Mothers.  And their children.

At the end of the night (after we had brought Eva and a garbage bag filled with puke-covered clothing home) the three of us snuggled on the couch, Eva's hair fresh with the scent of Suave kids shampoo and Sam's face still somehow smeared with Hawaiian punch.  Eva spent a few minutes pointing to each of us multiple times and saying "Sammy's spot.  Mommy's spot.  Eva's spot.  Sammy's spot.  Mommy's spot.  Eva's spot." Sam instructed us to take turns finding the hidden animals on the Under the Sea page of "the greatest animal find it book ever" that had come home with us from the birthday party.  The Christmas tree lit up in the corner reflected off the glass from our front window, and I thought of all those children who wouldn't be opening Christmas presents this year and I held my tears and counted out 3 giant squids and 2 reaching octopuses and was unbelievably grateful for my life.

A look back:

 December 2011

Dec 17, 2010

Dec 17, 2009

Dec 17, 2008

Dec 17, 2007

Fun Exhaustion

Yes, we slid down the hill and built a wall of snow bricks and caught snowflakes on our tongues and made snow angels and attempted a snow man and even raced the razor in the slush in the driveway. Yes, the first big snow fall is a completely different experience when there are children and wonder and awe and joy. And yes it was fun. And yes I’m grateful for my life.

But what these pictures don’t show is that it took me 15 minutes to get both kids (and me) zippered in to their snowpants and covered head to toe by coats and mittens and hats and boots, that both children took a turn at complaining about how this mitten or that boot didn’t fit and how the zipper rubbed their chin wrong, that the kids fought over who got to use the blue shovel and who got the red shovel, that I had to pull the sleds down the hill and then back up the hill, that both kids at one time or another disappeared around to the other side of the house without listening to my words, that we came in to the house just 25 minutes later and left a giant puddle on the kitchen floor and a trail of wet clothes down the hallway, that they dried out while I made lunch, that I put Eva in her crib and Sam in front of a computer screen while I went outside and fought with the snowblower for 15 minutes before finally getting it started, that Eva woke up before I was done clearing the driveway and screamed from her crib, and that yes, being a parent is fun, but yes, being a parent is sometimes exhausting even when it’s fun.

 Notice where he's aiming

Brooklynn

It's hard to believe that Brooklynn was just 3 years older than Sam is when I first met her, when her dad had to call her in from the yard where she was crawling up a tree and looking for ants. She's grown in to an amazing young woman, and even though we only see each other once every few months now, every weekend that we spend together leaves me grateful that Big Brothers Big Sisters brought us together.  I have learned so much from her, and my children adore her as much as I do.  During our last weekend together, Brooklynn got a taste of what it's like to live with me when I'm at the end of my rope.  But despite all the tantrums and melt downs, we had fun running outside in the warm temperatures and telling stories inside while we dug out the Santa collection and decorated the tree.

 

Road Trip Michigan

Our Thanksgiving road trip ended with two fabulous days in Kalamazoo with the Holmes clan.  Sam could hardly contain his excitement as we pulled into Michael and Michelle's driveway and Uncle Ron and the girls, all in their bare feet, jumped up and down to greet us.  Eva was a little slower to warm up to everyone, but it wasn't long before both of them were limboing and dancing and doing kareoke and stuffing their faces with pumpkin pie.  Sam and Jack spent a lot of time "learning geography" from Sponge Bob on the IPad, but when they came out of the bedroom and hung out with the rest of us, they saw girls that liked to sing and dance and jump and play.  And Sam got to witness the antics of "Uncle Johnny" once again.  Eva absolutely adores her Uncle Ron and her Aunt Judy.  The meal was, as always, fabulous, and it was nice to spend the entire next day with Uncle Ron and Aunt Judy.  And the family trip to the tree farm had us all talking about starting that tradition here next year.  All three of us had a great time and as we zipped through Chicago on our way home, we tried to figure out how soon we could go back. Thanks for hosting us Mike and Michelle, and Ron and Judy.  And thanks for all the fun family time!

 

Eva and Uncle Ron shake it up while Malia and her dad sing...

Winding down at the end up the night...