Fast Spring

 

 

We arrived in a rush after gulping McDonald's chicken nuggets and surviving the hot rush hour crawling traffic across the bridge, and we all had to take several deep breaths as we turned on to Hauser Street and discovered a line of cars and a precarious parking situation just ten minutes before game time.  I parallel parked on the road and threw on the backpack and the folding chair and grabbed the Packer blanket and handed each of the kids their water bottles and said "Let's move."  We followed a line of rushing parents, Eva complaining about her flip flops as we walked along the rockbed roadside and Sam constantly distracted and slowing to look at all the kids in different team shirts. 

 

"Come on.  Move," I barked as the hot sun was already pushing down on us and I started dreading what the next 3 hours were going to be like 

 

Once we made it to the grass I exhaled slightly and then Eva said she had to go potty and we ran to the port-a-potties and then stood and waited and waited and waited while she needed a great deal of time.  With 4 minutes to spare, she came out of the potty and we washed her hands and I sent Sam running through the crowds in the direction of field 9J.

 

Along the west side of the field we found our people, Sam's friends and their parents, and all the other Euro kids dressed in red and white and kicking a ball around with their coach.

 

For the next 3 and a half hours, the boys (and the amazing Abby) ran and ran and really played their hearts out, each one of them at some point getting a fire in the belly and driving for the goal.  They passed and defended and shared the ball and played aggressively and laughed and cheered and made each and every parent proud.

 

By the time the third game started late at a little after 8pm many of the parents were tired, but the sun was lower in the sky and gloaming light and cool air made for perfect fall-like conditions for watching a ball game.  Eva and Eomji played tag and soccer with Abby's big sister, and the kids got a little punch drunk on the field, but I got a tear in my eye when Sammy posed with his team and then again with his club and his Brazilian coach.  I wasn't prepared to so suddenly be caught up in the emotions of another ending on the same day that Sam had his last day of kindergarten.  All my friends with older children tell me that it goes so very fast, and some days when the sun is hot and the kids are dragging their feet and whining for uppy or complaining that they are hungry or tired or have to go potty for the tenth time, it's hard to imagine that it could go fast.  But then you find yourself standing in front of a bench full of 12 soccer players who grew and matured and learned so much during the spring season and you realize if you had blinked you would have missed so much.

 

Wow.  Thanks for another great spring, Winona Euro!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Madison Reunion

Reunion on Memorial Union Terrace the night before the half

I am sitting in the sunshine in the outdoor garden seating at The Great Dane in Madison, and my skin is covered with the fine powdered feeling of dried up sweat.  My best friend and college roommate sits across from me, her finisher's medal hung around her neck and a pink sweatband saying "Decide. Commit. Succeed." holding back her thick dark hair.  As the waiter sets a giant plate of waffles with berries and whipped cream on the table in front of her son, I am struck once again by how much he looks like his father.

"This is so surreal," I say to both of them.  "It seems like just yesterday it was the three of us... you and Brian and me.  And now it almost doesn't feel much different."

I cannot believe that it's been over 25 years since we spent our weekends in Madison together, and I am so amazed by what kind, thoughtful, generous, adult kids this best friend of mine has raised.  Two grown men who are focused and commited and succeeding at UW-Madison themselves.

Standing at the finish line with Zack a few hours earlier, he and I talked about the running and his recent battle with some virus that kept him from participating.  He was positive and excited and interested in signing up for another race soon.  And when the three of us sat at an Irish pub on the square and he toasted his mother and said how proud of her he was, I got tears in my eyes.

My less-than-24-hour weekend away from my children made me think of mothers and children and balance and history and example and achievement and friendship and how truly blessed I am.

 

 

 

 

I Just Thank You God for Making Me Me

 

 

TT didn't want me to tell Sam she was coming just in case she couldn't make it at the last minute, but when she pulled in to our driveway just after dinner Thursday night, it was a pretty safe bet that she'd be at Sam's final spring program at St. Mary's the following day.  And after the usual wrong turn and redirection in Winona, TT walked in and took her place next to me in the middle of the church.  We both anxiously looked for Sam as the children filed in, and when he spotted us he beamed and waved and posed for pictures.  Cameras and phones and ipods clicked and zoomed and beeped as the kids sang about butterflies and bumblebees and I Just Thank You God for Making Me Me.  Sam never really looked comfortable on stage even when they put on sunglasses for the hula number, but he had been practicing the songs in the car all week and he was so excited to share what he had learned with Mom and Grandma.  I teared up a few times as they sang about God giving them roots to grow, but mostly I beamed and couldn't take my eyes off of this boy who I am so blessed to have in my life.

 

When Sam went up to get his certificate and give Miss Kay a hug, Ms. Cicolz told the crowd that when Sam grew up he wanted to be an engineer.  And he later told us that's because he likes to create and build things and being an engineer is kind of like Minecraft.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soccer Tournament

 

Did I mention that we moved?  That we spent an entire month getting everything in to boxes and getting those boxes along with all our furniture into a u-store box or shuffled to storage in the new garage during one of several daily trips from Wisconsin to Minnesota over the course of 3-4 weeks?  That we closed on the sale of our Wisconsin home on Friday morning and closed on the purchase of our new home on Friday afternoon?  If you know all of these details then you know that it was about 15 hours between the time the kids set foot in our new home and the time we had to be in the car headed to La Crosse for Sam's first soccer tournament.  There are just 3 tournaments for his age group so it didn't seem right to miss one just because we were moving.  And I actually kind of liked having an excuse not to get everything unloaded and unpacked on Friday evening.  Plenty of time to get to all those boxes.  There is soccer to be played.

So even though we were all more than a little tired from a late and restless first night in the new house, Eva and Sam were up and (mostly) ready to go when Kate and her kids showed up for our rideshare to the tournament.  And despite the cold wind (which we tried to keep mostly at our backs) and my lack of preparation for it, the boys enjoyed their first soccer tournament and the girls (and let's face it the boys) enjoyed singing along to the Frozen soundtrack all the way there and all the way back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This Happened

 

 

Look what arrived in early April and was packed full of furniture

and tools and garbage bags of clothes by late April. 

 

 

 

 Two nights before we had to be out, all that was left was the kitchen.  And a lot of cleaning.

 

 The kids have a slumber party their last night in the house. In the morning when I asked them if they wanted to say goodbye to the house, Sam said "Why would I want to do that?  It will just make me sad."  And from that moment on Eva has called the old house on the prairie our "sad house."

 

 

 The new place

 

 

 

 

Last Easter On The Prairie

 

 

Easter weekend included a visit from TT, a trip to the new house, and lots of running around outside in our yard for the last time before the move.  The kids were happy to discover that having all our stuff packed into a U-store pod didn't confuse the Easter Bunny who still showed up while we slept.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kicking Balls and Discovering Subs

 

 

As the snow melted and we began our on-again-off-again love affair with April showers, we dug out last year's soccer cleats (which thankfully still fit) and struggled once again with shin guards and long sweaty socks before Sam ran out on to the field to begin another season with Euro Soccer.  Old friends and new returned, and the moms caught up and tried not complain about the weather too much.  And Eva and Sam loved the fact that soccer in town meant dinner in town too...Toppers or McD's or the new favorite, Subway.

 

 

 

Bye Bye Seymour

When I first noticed that Dagny was shrinking and consuming a lot of water but not a lot of dry cat food, she had already lost about half her body weight.  Down to under 15 pounds from her maximum weight a few years earlier over 23 pounds.  The first round of tests cost me $293 and led to the conclusion that more tests were needed.  Second round was $584.  And over the course of the next 6 weeks I spent another $142 on testing and then $50 every two weeks for special meds and bags of IV fluids which I had to hang from a wall so I could pinch her skin and stab a needle in and give her fluids twice a day to keep her alive because it felt like the humane thing to do.  Dagny was 12 years old and I only had one child, a 14-month-old who was just starting to walk and didn't get in too much trouble and slept (mostly) through the night.  When dagny started hiding under the bed with no interest in coming out to eat or drink, I knew the end was near, and on the day I contemplated whether I have her put too sleep, I came home from work to find that she had crawled into a empty Pampers box lying on the dining room floor and died.

 

Her brother Seymour didn't seem phased at all by her sudden absence, and he continued to eat and talk (almost constantly) for several years before he too started to shrink.  Whether or not Seymour became afflicted with the same kidney failure that killed Dagny I will never know for sure.  I did not bring him in for $1000 worth of testing, and I never let a vet talk me in to IV fluids.  With two demanding children who need my attention and barely enough time for myself as it is, when Seymour started shrinking, I immediately started buying the expensive, fluid-excessive cat foods that the vet had insisted I give to Dagny 5 years ago.  And I kept his litter and his water dish clean and full.  And the kids and I spent enough time with him that Eva even got over her fear of animals and started insisting that she got to feed the kitty. 

 

Last week during one of the rare afternoons when I was alone in the house I noticed that Seymour was not lifting his head from his cat bed, that he didn't seem interested in moving towards me at all.  I found him weak and dehydrated, so in the fifteen minutes I had before I had to pick up the kids I washed him clean and got him a fresh bed in the basement and tried to get him to take some water or food.  But it was clear to me he wouldn't last the night, and I had to decide how to handle it with the kids.  In the end I left him alone down there and checked on him a couple of times.  A friend told me she believed that animals liked to die alone, that it was too hard for them to move on with us there.  I don't know whether or not I believe that, but I do know I'm grateful that Seymour died some time during the hour between bedtime snack and the time both children were asleep.  When I found him he was stretched out as if the sun were shining on him, and I was glad the kids weren't there.

 

I told Sam the next day when he and I were alone in the car.  He said he was a little sad, but it was okay because Seymour was way up in the sky with Dagny and Grandpa Jim.  Then he wanted to know if everyone that ever lived went to heaven, wouldn't there be cavemen there and wouldn't it be really crowded and do they eat in heaven and what kinds of things do they do in heaven and I found myself remembering those early conversations about Grandpa Jim.

 

I didn't tell Eva until the next day when she grabbed a can of cat food and said she wanted to go feed the kitty.

 

"We can't, Honey.  The kitty is dead.  Seymour died a few days ago."

 

She looked at me and plopped the can on the kitchen counter and said "Oh" before leaving the room to play with Barbies.