Inspirational Auntie PAMFA

Part of our group on Jarosa Mesa, September 2005

This week I have to give a nod to the wonderful women of my writing group. PAMFA. When my mentor and friend Pam started this group 5 years ago (wow, has it really been that long already?) who would have known that we would continue beyond our original goal of a two-year commitment, that we would grow into a loving community that is like family?

This week as my writing group gathers in the beautiful mountains of Colorado (oh, how I wish I could be there), I am sad to be missing them all. I can picture Pam coming out into the living room in the morning, her hair still wet as the rest of the group mills around the solid wood table and spoons sugar into lattes and raisins into steel cut oatmeal as the sun heats the linoleum floor and twinkles through the stained glass Dante hanging near the window. I can feel the chill in the air as everyone slowly meanders out to their cars at the end of the night, the bright moon glowing over the ranch and the dogs circling to tell everyone how much they have enjoyed the company. I can hear the laughter as Tami tells a story about her adventures with Pam or Katherine somehow manages to make everyone laugh about breast cancer. I can see Lesley’s graceful motion as she reaches into the salt bowl and douses her salad with white crystals several times without letting it interrupt the story she is telling. I can see the excitement in Heather’s face as she takes the first sip of her latte and comes alive in the morning. I can smell the garlic wafting out from the kitchen as Pam instructs someone to stir her famous mashed potatoes as she adds the cream. I can see Karen kicked back on the couch, her Smartwool-covered feet resting on the coffee table as she reads through a manuscript or one of the many books piled on the table. I can hear the individual sighs and exhalations as everyone takes their first bite of whatever fish (Copper River Salmon?) Pam has baked… a dish that everyone will swear is better than ever before. And I can almost feel the tickles and cuddles and leaning bodies of those wonderful Irish Wolfhounds. But most of all, even without being there, I can feel the love and support within this group.

This wonderful group of brave women has been an inspiration to me for years, and they have all been supportive and encouraging of me in every aspect of my life, not just my writing. They were there when my world was shattered by an unexpected break-up, and they have been there ever since telling me that I am going to be a great mother, that this is the path I’m supposed to follow, that they are excited for me. They are surrogate aunts to my little boy, and even if motherhood and babies are not regular subjects among us as a group, these brave, strong, smart, beautiful women have made me a better person and given me so many great gifts. Just like everyone else, I am bumping through life, making mistakes and hopefully learning as I go, and I am so grateful to have these women in my corner whether I succeed or fail.

Lisa once said to me that PAMFA challenged her in so many ways and made her not only want to be the best writer that she could be, but the best Lisa that she could be. I couldn’t have said it any better myself, and I thank God for these women who have inspired me to be the best Barb that I can be, who have taught me through example about the importance of taking risks and putting myself out there and having the courage to follow my own dreams. It is largely because of them that I had the courage to make this little boy growing inside me, and as they gather together this week to talk about writing and boys and traveling and life, although we are separated by the miles between here and Colorado, I can feel the love as if they were all right here in this room.

Thank you all for everything you have taught me!!!