Sam Becomes a Firefly

I wish I had the time (and energy) to do this milestone justice, but the piles of dirty laundry have reached maximum chaos and the dishwasher needs emptying so I can immediately reload and run it again, and I have breast pump components to wash and boil before I start getting clothes and gym bags and car seats ready for our before-the-sunrise start tomorrow. I wish I had the time to write in detail about Sammy's excitement and the way he cautiously checked out the toys and the fishtank and the cubby with his name on it and the pile of fireflies that needed to be colored and sprinkled with glitter. I wish I had the energy to talk about my own anxiety about making sure everyone in the entire city knew that Sam has a peanut allergy and cannot have peanuts and here is his epi-pen and please, please, please don't ever let him get hurt by anything ever. Ever. :)

But most of all I wish I could share with you all the magical moment when Jamie (Sam's daycare provider) surprised us in the hallway and squatted by him and gave him a big hug and a big smile and made the entire universe seem to come perfectly in to balance for both Sam and me. I say it all the time, that this family would not be possible without this amazing woman who takes care of my children with patience and love every day... and some nights. But words cannot possibly explain how grateful I am for the way she takes care of all of us without even knowing she's doing it.

After I had left Sam alone in the room filled with toddlers and pre-schoolers and Miss Mary (who isn't the teacher we had met the day before) and without any of his friends (who would arrive later), after I had spied the three boxes of cereal and milk and various treats sitting on a table in the middle of all of them and wondered how they actually controlled who ate what, after I had kissed and hugged Sam and watched him walk off to look at the puzzles all by himself, after I slowly walked down the stairs and out to the parking lot, after all of that, I got tears in my eyes. Letting my baby go. [sigh]