Two Christmases

Two Christmases, 41 years apart

December 1966

December 2007 (38 weeks)

37 Weeks

Kelly and Barb and Belly on the back deck

With only 14 days left until Baby's arrival, I'm finding myself more and more exhausted and uncomfortable (hence less writing), so rather than complaining about all that, I'll just post some pictures from my awesome weekend with Kelly. She drove over and back during a winter storm that carpeted our area with beautiful white snow, and we had a relaxing weekend. She brought me the most beautiful baby blanket (perfect size for swaddling) that she crocheted herself. Self-taught. A gift I will always treasure.

A precious personal gift

A HUGE Fan

This year I really am a HUGE fan!

TT and I spent the holiday watching football, eating pumpkin pie and breathing in the odors of onion, sage, and cinnamon wafting out from the kitchen. We started the day with a brisk walk in the 20 degree temps with the wind in our faces so that we could, as Jim would say, "earn our pumpkin pie." I don't think we earned as much pie as we ate since we ended up making a second pie during halftime of the Packers-Lions matchup.

I really miss Annie and the kids this Thanksgiving, but I'll see them in just 3 and a half short weeks when Baby arrives. Despite the backaches and the heartburn and the insomnia, I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Baby hiccups are definitely one of my favorite things (since they remind me he's in there and alive but they don't hurt my bladder or my kidneys or my stomach), and I can only enjoy them for a few more weeks. It seems pumpkin pie brings them on even more than Fresca, so I think I'll go cut my first slice of the second pie.

Definitely a Matousek

35 Weeks HUGE!

Dr. Peck said the baby's hiccups are a great thing and they tell him three different things: 1) Baby's "an aggressive eater" (definitely a Matousek... for proof of that read the early postings from the first trimester or consider the fact that for lunch today I ate two pieces of Rocky Rococo's sausage and mushroom pizza followed by an entire box of Julie's organic ice cream sandwiches), 2) the tube from Baby's mouth to his stomach is free and clear and he has no birth defects related to these areas, and 3) there is lots of amniotic fluid for him to practice swallowing.

I got to see more of this swallowing today during my third BPP (I have these weekly now), and I also saw Baby suck on his thumb and sleep with his arm over his eyes. He's got lots of hair (which they say will fall out shortly after birth), and he's as active as ever... kicking the ultrasound device and squirming and turning and bouncing on my bladder.

Tomorrow is 35 weeks. The countdown continues. 27 more days.

34 Weeks - Just 34 More Days

A definite increase in Hugeness!
I think my pajama bottoms have reached their limit

Okay, my belly is officially HUGE. And the reason I know this is because I cannot seem to walk through a door without bumping my belly. I kid you not. The stalls in the bathroom at work present a particular challenge (I have to back up next to the toilet bowl just to swing the door wide enough for me to get out), but walking through the door that leads to my garage to grab a cold can of pop from the garage floor, and boom, the door doinks the belly. Out the front door to grab the mail and ouch, another belly bump. Car doors. Store doors. Oven doors. The employee entrance door at work. How is it possible that even though I’ve had this giant thing sticking out in front of me for weeks I suddenly manage to hit it with everything in site?

And there are more changes…

The very distinct kick and punch feelings have been replaced by rolls and pushes as the baby is now big enough that he can’t really wind up and pitch or kick with great force. There is now more baby than amniotic fluid. And when I feel a foot or a knee pushing one part of my belly out, it’s a great deal of fun to push back and watch it pop up elsewhere. It’s a little game we play. A lot. But in the last few weeks I’ve also started experiencing a new sensation. Baby hiccups. Once or twice a day my belly will start these tiny, rhythmic pulses that are 2-3 seconds apart. It’s like having a heartbeat where my stomach used to be. My doctor says this is very common, especially with more mature fetuses that have a well developed central nervous system. Many experts say that hiccups in the womb are a response to the baby practicing breathing movements with their lungs and diaphragm. Who knew the hiccups could be so fun? Way more fun than the occasional elbow into my kidney or foot into my rib cage.

Tomorrow is 34 weeks. Another ultrasound. The first of my weekly ultrasounds. And as exciting as that is, the thing I am most excited about tomorrow is the arrival of my new Queen-sized boxspring and mattress. I’m operating under the, perhaps, mistaken delusion that a new, high-quality bed will make it easier to sleep. But when I think about it, I realize that my bladder won’t care whether I’m on a good mattress or not. I’ll probably still be getting up every hour or two to pee.

I had lunch with Sarah today, and she brought along Nathan. We took turns holding him and bouncing him so that we could each eat, and my body just melted when the little 14-pound heater relaxed against my shoulder and started drooling on my blouse. It took me right back to when I used to hold little Zachary James for hours. Hard to believe that was six years ago. (As an aside, Zachary has said he thinks James would be a good name for the baby "because that's part of my name too!")

34 more days until I bring one of those home. As the booper and I played our little push-pull game with the wall of my belly tonight and he made me laugh (as he often does), I spoke out loud to him again.

“I can’t wait to meet you,” I said. “I can’t wait.”

Really Neat Thing

I was walking through the hallway that winds past the office of the man who owns the company I work for today, and as I turned the corner and passed his secretary’s office I heard “How are you doing, Barb?” I backed up and peeked my head into her office and said I was hanging in there. She pushed her chair away from her computer and ran her hand through her thinning red-gray hair. I told her this 3^rd trimester was more challenging than I expected.

“It’s worth it,” she said.

I told her I am sore most of the time and I really can’t ever get comfortable enough to sleep.

“Now when are you due? Soon right?”

I told her 6 weeks. 6 weeks from yesterday. 5 weeks and 6 days from today. 41 days.

She told me it would go fast, and I told her I wish it would go faster, that I haven’t slept for a week.

“You’ll never sleep again,” she said. “But it’s worth it. It’s so worth it.”

“That’s what I hear,” I said. “Which is why I did this.”

She knows my story. Somehow through the grapevine at work she’s one of the people who has gotten the right story, the story about how I made a conscious choice to make a baby as a single mother because I was turning 40 and running out of very precious time to start my family. (As opposed to the guy who sits three cubicles down from me who has heard a different grapevine story and had the nerve to ask one of our sales people if HE was the father of my baby.)

“I admire you so much,” she said. “I think you’re doing a really neat thing.”

I walk past Julie’s office all the time on my way from my office to the offices up front, and I see her candy jar filled with chocolates and I always think about taking a Reese’s or a Snickers. But I don’t really know her and I don’t want to disturb her, don’t want her to think I’m just a candy hog. But I think from now on I will peek my head in and say hi, whether I take a piece of candy or not.

“Thank you,” I said. “That really means a lot.” And I meant it.

It’s amazing what a little kindness from a stranger can do when you’re exhausted and sore and lonely and wondering how you are possibly going to manage to get through another 5 weeks and 6 days without anyone to rub your feet or massage your back or make you a cup of chamomile tea before bed. It’s amazing how the kindness of a stranger can make you realize that you can do just about anything.

Great River Trail

Nathan and Sarah and Barb (with her 5-pounder)

Just six more weeks, and though my belly is aching and my hips are sore and I have a myriad of things to complain about every day (most of them exascerbated by a complete lack of sleep... nobody ever tells you that 75% of pregnant women have insomnia and difficulty sleeping in the final few months before delivery), I invited my friend Sarah out for a sunshiney hike on the Great River Trail this past weekend. And just like my earlier hike with Rhonda, this one flew by as we talked and talked and talked. We didn't really realize how far we had walked until about the last 200 hundreds yards on the way back to the car when my hips started burning. Sarah brought along her own little bruiser who is now six weeks old and almost 14 pounds, and the four of us posed for a picture along the trail. We had so much fun, and I hope we can still sneak a few more of these walks in before I'm too sore to walk.

After our walk Sarah and Nathaniel came back to my house. Sarah and I talked while Nathan had some lunch and fell into a milk stupor. Then Sarah generously donated her Snoogle pregnancy pillow and her maternity support band to the remainder of my pregnancy. As the list of pains and aches continues to grow during the final trimester, I'm grateful for every little bit of comfort I can find.

6 more weeks.

Halloween Treat

After a few days of unnecessary anxiety (caused by a few friends who told me that the pain I was feeling in my right side was an early symptom of pre-eclampsia), I went in to get my BPP (biophysical profile) which is a test they do to check the overall health of the baby. I will be having these every week starting two weeks from now, since my "advanced maternal age" puts the baby in the high risk category... especially early and late in the pregnancy.

"Bruiser" at 32 weeks

TT came with me to see her grandson on the ultrasound, and because the BPP is a timed test, the sonographer couldn't really spend much time looking at Baby in too much detail. But TT got to see him open and close his hand, move his spine, breath (which, apparently, is really rare to see so easily on an ultrasound) and suck on his thumb. The first thing he showed us when he got on the screen was a special present for TT that she's been talking about ever since: his boy parts. I was guessing Baby was about 4 pounds at this point (based on all I've been reading from various pregnancy sources) but the measurements taken of his abdomen and femur and head indicated a weight of 5.1 pounds. His new nickname is Bruiser, though TT still keeps calling him Sam.

After the BPP we met with Dr. Peck and he told me that I shouldn't listen to any women I know because they will just cause me undue anxiety and I do not need to worry about pre-eclampsia. He said the pain I'm feeling is likely the little guy's butt pushing up against my ribs.

"Get used to feeling a lot of new pains," he said. "It's pretty cramped in there, and he's going to be pushing things that have never been pushed before."

My weight gain is now up to 24 pounds. My blood pressure was 123/70 which is high for me (I've been consistently 102/68 for a while) but Dr. Peck said unless that lower number reaches 90 there is no reason to worry. And thanks to my anxiety earlier this week I now know where the free blood pressure check is at Target.

I go back for my next BPP in two weeks, and then weekly after that. Not because the doctor or the sonographer see anything wrong (everything looks great, as a matter of fact), but because stillbirths are one of the risks of "advanced maternal age" and if we check Baby every week we can see if he seems to be struggling at all. Doctor Peck stressed that I should not worry about this because I am very healthy and Baby's BPP results were fantastic. We got an A+ this week.

It was a great Halloween treat to be able to share all that with TT, and we've started the countdown. Less than 7 weeks until we finally meet him!