Ready!

My friend Missy said “The end is in sight,” and then she immediately corrected herself and said “I guess I should say the beginning is in sight.” My cousin Tamie said “Yay. Very soon you will be un-pregnant.” My friend Kae said she’ll be thinking of me as I enter this next phase of my life.

Despite all the recent complaining about my inability to bend over or the fact that my arm is just barely long enough to wipe when I pee for the hundredth time each day, I have really enjoyed being pregnant, and I am actually going to miss the way my belly dances in the middle of the night or the baby’s hiccups can twitch me so much that I become distracted from whatever else is going on around me. I will miss being able to push on my right rib cage and then feel an immediate reaction on my left side as his fist or his knee readjusts to the new limitations of his space. I will miss having people come up to me in the hall at work and say “How much longer?” and “You look great.”

Ann says that the second that baby is born I’ll become invisible, and that is fine with me. I am ready and so excited for my son to arrive.

It’s been almost six and a half years since Zack looked up at me with his big brown unfocused eyes and captured my heart. And it’s hard to believe it’s been 4 years since an adorable red-blonde little girl who looks more and more like her mommy every day entered my world. (“I’m not a baby any more,” she tells me. “I’m a kid.”)

In less than 24 hours my own son will enter this world and though everyone tries to describe the love I’ll feel for this little being, I know I can’t begin to imagine it. But in less than 24 hours I won’t have to imagine it because he’ll be here. I can’t wait.

I’m ready!

40 More Hours

TT, Sarah T, Barb, and Ann---all ready for Baby's first Christmas

The girls have all arrived in anticipation of the arrival of the boy. (Zack had to stay behind for another week of school.) We're counting down in hours now, and in less than 40 hours a boy will be joining this crew. Then you can all stop asking me what his name is because I'll know when I meet him.

Two Christmases

Two Christmases, 41 years apart

December 1966

December 2007 (38 weeks)

37 Weeks

Kelly and Barb and Belly on the back deck

With only 14 days left until Baby's arrival, I'm finding myself more and more exhausted and uncomfortable (hence less writing), so rather than complaining about all that, I'll just post some pictures from my awesome weekend with Kelly. She drove over and back during a winter storm that carpeted our area with beautiful white snow, and we had a relaxing weekend. She brought me the most beautiful baby blanket (perfect size for swaddling) that she crocheted herself. Self-taught. A gift I will always treasure.

A precious personal gift

A HUGE Fan

This year I really am a HUGE fan!

TT and I spent the holiday watching football, eating pumpkin pie and breathing in the odors of onion, sage, and cinnamon wafting out from the kitchen. We started the day with a brisk walk in the 20 degree temps with the wind in our faces so that we could, as Jim would say, "earn our pumpkin pie." I don't think we earned as much pie as we ate since we ended up making a second pie during halftime of the Packers-Lions matchup.

I really miss Annie and the kids this Thanksgiving, but I'll see them in just 3 and a half short weeks when Baby arrives. Despite the backaches and the heartburn and the insomnia, I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Baby hiccups are definitely one of my favorite things (since they remind me he's in there and alive but they don't hurt my bladder or my kidneys or my stomach), and I can only enjoy them for a few more weeks. It seems pumpkin pie brings them on even more than Fresca, so I think I'll go cut my first slice of the second pie.

Definitely a Matousek

35 Weeks HUGE!

Dr. Peck said the baby's hiccups are a great thing and they tell him three different things: 1) Baby's "an aggressive eater" (definitely a Matousek... for proof of that read the early postings from the first trimester or consider the fact that for lunch today I ate two pieces of Rocky Rococo's sausage and mushroom pizza followed by an entire box of Julie's organic ice cream sandwiches), 2) the tube from Baby's mouth to his stomach is free and clear and he has no birth defects related to these areas, and 3) there is lots of amniotic fluid for him to practice swallowing.

I got to see more of this swallowing today during my third BPP (I have these weekly now), and I also saw Baby suck on his thumb and sleep with his arm over his eyes. He's got lots of hair (which they say will fall out shortly after birth), and he's as active as ever... kicking the ultrasound device and squirming and turning and bouncing on my bladder.

Tomorrow is 35 weeks. The countdown continues. 27 more days.

34 Weeks - Just 34 More Days

A definite increase in Hugeness!
I think my pajama bottoms have reached their limit

Okay, my belly is officially HUGE. And the reason I know this is because I cannot seem to walk through a door without bumping my belly. I kid you not. The stalls in the bathroom at work present a particular challenge (I have to back up next to the toilet bowl just to swing the door wide enough for me to get out), but walking through the door that leads to my garage to grab a cold can of pop from the garage floor, and boom, the door doinks the belly. Out the front door to grab the mail and ouch, another belly bump. Car doors. Store doors. Oven doors. The employee entrance door at work. How is it possible that even though I’ve had this giant thing sticking out in front of me for weeks I suddenly manage to hit it with everything in site?

And there are more changes…

The very distinct kick and punch feelings have been replaced by rolls and pushes as the baby is now big enough that he can’t really wind up and pitch or kick with great force. There is now more baby than amniotic fluid. And when I feel a foot or a knee pushing one part of my belly out, it’s a great deal of fun to push back and watch it pop up elsewhere. It’s a little game we play. A lot. But in the last few weeks I’ve also started experiencing a new sensation. Baby hiccups. Once or twice a day my belly will start these tiny, rhythmic pulses that are 2-3 seconds apart. It’s like having a heartbeat where my stomach used to be. My doctor says this is very common, especially with more mature fetuses that have a well developed central nervous system. Many experts say that hiccups in the womb are a response to the baby practicing breathing movements with their lungs and diaphragm. Who knew the hiccups could be so fun? Way more fun than the occasional elbow into my kidney or foot into my rib cage.

Tomorrow is 34 weeks. Another ultrasound. The first of my weekly ultrasounds. And as exciting as that is, the thing I am most excited about tomorrow is the arrival of my new Queen-sized boxspring and mattress. I’m operating under the, perhaps, mistaken delusion that a new, high-quality bed will make it easier to sleep. But when I think about it, I realize that my bladder won’t care whether I’m on a good mattress or not. I’ll probably still be getting up every hour or two to pee.

I had lunch with Sarah today, and she brought along Nathan. We took turns holding him and bouncing him so that we could each eat, and my body just melted when the little 14-pound heater relaxed against my shoulder and started drooling on my blouse. It took me right back to when I used to hold little Zachary James for hours. Hard to believe that was six years ago. (As an aside, Zachary has said he thinks James would be a good name for the baby "because that's part of my name too!")

34 more days until I bring one of those home. As the booper and I played our little push-pull game with the wall of my belly tonight and he made me laugh (as he often does), I spoke out loud to him again.

“I can’t wait to meet you,” I said. “I can’t wait.”

Really Neat Thing

I was walking through the hallway that winds past the office of the man who owns the company I work for today, and as I turned the corner and passed his secretary’s office I heard “How are you doing, Barb?” I backed up and peeked my head into her office and said I was hanging in there. She pushed her chair away from her computer and ran her hand through her thinning red-gray hair. I told her this 3^rd trimester was more challenging than I expected.

“It’s worth it,” she said.

I told her I am sore most of the time and I really can’t ever get comfortable enough to sleep.

“Now when are you due? Soon right?”

I told her 6 weeks. 6 weeks from yesterday. 5 weeks and 6 days from today. 41 days.

She told me it would go fast, and I told her I wish it would go faster, that I haven’t slept for a week.

“You’ll never sleep again,” she said. “But it’s worth it. It’s so worth it.”

“That’s what I hear,” I said. “Which is why I did this.”

She knows my story. Somehow through the grapevine at work she’s one of the people who has gotten the right story, the story about how I made a conscious choice to make a baby as a single mother because I was turning 40 and running out of very precious time to start my family. (As opposed to the guy who sits three cubicles down from me who has heard a different grapevine story and had the nerve to ask one of our sales people if HE was the father of my baby.)

“I admire you so much,” she said. “I think you’re doing a really neat thing.”

I walk past Julie’s office all the time on my way from my office to the offices up front, and I see her candy jar filled with chocolates and I always think about taking a Reese’s or a Snickers. But I don’t really know her and I don’t want to disturb her, don’t want her to think I’m just a candy hog. But I think from now on I will peek my head in and say hi, whether I take a piece of candy or not.

“Thank you,” I said. “That really means a lot.” And I meant it.

It’s amazing what a little kindness from a stranger can do when you’re exhausted and sore and lonely and wondering how you are possibly going to manage to get through another 5 weeks and 6 days without anyone to rub your feet or massage your back or make you a cup of chamomile tea before bed. It’s amazing how the kindness of a stranger can make you realize that you can do just about anything.