Different is Good

“Just a minute,” she tells her husband as she hands him their 1-year-old daughter. “I want to take Sam to the park. I told him I would and I want to make sure I do that.”

We are at a toddler birthday party, and after our boys finished eating bratwurst and pasta salad and finger jello but before we sang Happy Birthday to a proud two-year-old, my friend Kay volunteered to bring our kids over to the playground. But then the cake rolled out and the noisemakers appeared, and the boys forgot all about the park. But Kay didn’t. As people begin packing up their things and heading to their cars, Kay wants to follow through on her earlier commitment.

“Come on Sammy,” Kay says. It would be easy for her to sneak out, to escape to the car with her family. But that is not who Kay is. Kay is conscientious and intentional. Kay keeps her word. Always.

I bend to lift Eva from the spot where she is scooting across the cement with a bottle of water, and I follow Kay and the boys.

Read the rest on TheNextFamily.com here.

Why We Call Her Scooter

It's probably safe to say that the 9-12-month sized girl pants in our household will end up in the trash rather than becoming hand-me-downs. Our floors are a little cleaner than they might be otherwise, but Eva's mode of transportation is a little hard on fabric with a thread count higher than 150. I think this video says it all.



And make no mistake.. she's fast! Eva on her butt moves faster than Sammy ever did crawling. God help me.

Coyote Poop

A beautiful fall day for hiking in the wildlife refuge. Sammy had a list for his "badger hunt" which is how he remembers the phrase "scavenger hunt." We found flowers and seeds and geese and ducks and rocks and some some early fall colors. It was so nice to have Tara along to push the stroller so Sammy and Mommy could run and jump and look at seed pods and coyote poop. Sammy was a trooper as he walked almost all of the two and a half hour hike. And how nice to actually have some pictures of the three of us together. Thanks Tara for an awesome morning!

Transformation

Why this was necessary

When I entered Jamie's Play Palace to pick Sam up an hour early, he was already putting his shoes on and preparing to leave with just Mommy. Jamie hadn't told him where we were going, so as we walked to the car I told him he was going to get a big boy haircut.

"Can we get ice cream?" he asked.

I told him that after his haircut we would go to Culver's for thick vanilla shakes. I told him that the haircut would be fun. He'd get to climb up into a big chair that the lady would move up and down with her foot. I told him she'd put a fancy superman cape on him to catch all the hair so he wouldn't get all itchy like he does when Mommy cuts his hair. I told him he'd get to sit in front of the mirror and watch everything.

"Cool," he said as he climbed into his big boy booster seat. "And then we can get ice cream."

When we walked in he looked around but stood quietly by my side. The place was empty except for an older gentleman in one chair and two women sweeping hair off the floor. One of them eventually took down our name and address information, and I told her this was his first real haircut. "Cute," she said and she led Sam to a seat with a big booster.

He climbed up in to the chair all by himself and he watched in the mirror while she tied the cape around his neck. He sat very still as she sprayed his head with water and begin combing his hair. Aside from the half-dozen times I've cut his hair, it was maybe the tenth time he's ever had his hair combed, and he didn't even flinch. He stared at the mirror while she trimmed the back and then up across the top. He tried hard not to sneeze and we all laughed and said "There you go" when he finally let himself.


I kept trying to get him to talk as I snapped photos, and the woman just kept saying how good he was, how he was the best client she'd ever had, how she'd never had a kid sit so still before. Two other men came in and got cuts in the chairs behind Sam, and I realized that Great Clips is where the boys go. Sam's legs did start to move and he got a little antsy when the woman spent an inordinate amount of time buzzing around his right ear to get it just perfect (if only she knew the client she was dealing with here), but when it was all done he exhaled and smiled. And when he found out he got to pick out a sucker from the big bowl near the cash register he thought getting his haircut was the funnest thing he'd done all day.

On the way out he told me that this place was the barbershop. He knew this because "boys get their hair cut at barbershops."

"Where do girls go, Mommy? Where does Ayanna get her haircut?"

"Probably a salon," I said.

"But big boys go to the barber," he said again before telling me he loved it when it was just Mommy and Sammy and then reminding me that we had to go get ice cream before picking up Eva.


(We won't talk about the major 3-year-old meltdown he had in the car when the Culver's milkshake came with just a straw and not the usual combination spoon/straw.)

The Funnest 5 Miles I Ever Ran

Pre-Race Al's Run, Saturday Morning

The three of us committed to this back in early summer. Despite our individual insane schedules and lack of free time, Kelly, Missy and I all committed to training for a 5 mile run in Milwaukee that raises money for the Children's Hospital. TT said she would support my efforts by not only sharing Marriott points for a free hotel stay but, God help her, watching both children while I ran.


And from the second we pulled into the valet parking of the downtown Marriot Courtyard on Friday evening it seemed like the planets had aligned for it to be a great weekend. Sam was so excited to see TT that he could barely sit still when he saw her standing there to greet us. And he was thrilled to wander around the big lobby with her, running to check out fountains and plants and big TVs and a swimming pool that she promised he could swim in. After we hauled all our stuff up to the 4th floor, TT was fabulous at settling him down to snuggle and watch TV as I unpacked and organized, and both children went to sleep easily and deeply for the night.



















Saturday morning I left Grandma alone with the two kids and a small cooler full of yogurt and deli meat and avocados and tomatoes and fruit. I hiked up the long incline of Wisconsin Avenue in the wind, and the entire area was abuzz with families pulling kids in wagons and elite performace runners running up and down the streets. As I approached our promised meeting place on the steps of a church near 12th street, I passed a band playing inspirational music and I spotted Kelly standing near the church doors. I was so excited to see her, and we were both pumped up with the energy of the day. Sun was pushing off the clouds as Missy arrived, and the three of us laughed and giggled and talked about whether or not we were ready. After a few trips to the port-a-potty we lined up near the walkers and headed out across the start line just a few minutes after 10:30am.

It WAS the funnest run I've ever done. Missy had warned me of the long up hill on Prospect, but we started with a long downhill and we all passed a lot of walkers before settling in to our individual paces on the uphills. Normally when I run I focus on my breathing, but I don't remember ever even thinking about it while running Al's Run. There were so many encouraging spectators, and every few blocks a local band played blues or rock or pop that made it fun to run. There were arm tunnels to run through and strangers holding up their hands to give runners high fives. And after the turn down Lafayette Hill, the run was mostly downhill or flat, and I couldn't believe I wasn't struggling. I raced the last half mile with Missy's friend Craig and sprinted to the end to beat my 52-minute goal by over two minutes.

It was a beautiful day and I was surrounded by my dearest and oldest friends. I was so grateful to be able to do this and to know that my family was being safely taken care of by Grandma (who had already taken Sam to see the pool and eat sausage at the hotel bistro and ride an escalator in the Grand Avenue Mall). But I also missed them and wanted to get back to the hotel to hug my boy.

After showers and some protein we spent the afternoon with Missy, exploring her neighborhood which held all kinds of new wonders for Sam. Her view from the 10th floor allowed Sammy to see the city in a whole new way, and Eva couldn't get enough of her BFF Missy. I got to enjoy a bottle of wine and soak up the sun while Eva scooted and Sam mopped up cottage cheese with Pepperidge Farm goldfish before we ventured down to the beach for more sunshine.










We ended the evening with delivery pizza and a trip to the hotel pool with TT, and for the second night in a row, my children let me sleep.

Thank you TT for another rejuvinating weekend in which I got some mommy-free time and my children got to explore more of the world.

Bedtime

"Sammy, you need to go to sleep."

"I'm trying, Mommy, but my body is making me not."

[I laugh and smile.]

"My body is frustrated," he says.

And then he does the family sigh and smiles a giant smile. He knows how to move my heart.

Becoming a Firefly TNF

Another version of Sammy's first day at school on the web site I write for...

http://thenextfamily.com/2011/09/becoming-a-firefly/

Sam Becomes a Firefly

I wish I had the time (and energy) to do this milestone justice, but the piles of dirty laundry have reached maximum chaos and the dishwasher needs emptying so I can immediately reload and run it again, and I have breast pump components to wash and boil before I start getting clothes and gym bags and car seats ready for our before-the-sunrise start tomorrow. I wish I had the time to write in detail about Sammy's excitement and the way he cautiously checked out the toys and the fishtank and the cubby with his name on it and the pile of fireflies that needed to be colored and sprinkled with glitter. I wish I had the energy to talk about my own anxiety about making sure everyone in the entire city knew that Sam has a peanut allergy and cannot have peanuts and here is his epi-pen and please, please, please don't ever let him get hurt by anything ever. Ever. :)

But most of all I wish I could share with you all the magical moment when Jamie (Sam's daycare provider) surprised us in the hallway and squatted by him and gave him a big hug and a big smile and made the entire universe seem to come perfectly in to balance for both Sam and me. I say it all the time, that this family would not be possible without this amazing woman who takes care of my children with patience and love every day... and some nights. But words cannot possibly explain how grateful I am for the way she takes care of all of us without even knowing she's doing it.

After I had left Sam alone in the room filled with toddlers and pre-schoolers and Miss Mary (who isn't the teacher we had met the day before) and without any of his friends (who would arrive later), after I had spied the three boxes of cereal and milk and various treats sitting on a table in the middle of all of them and wondered how they actually controlled who ate what, after I had kissed and hugged Sam and watched him walk off to look at the puzzles all by himself, after I slowly walked down the stairs and out to the parking lot, after all of that, I got tears in my eyes. Letting my baby go. [sigh]